Sunday, June 7, 2009

Birthdays: Oh the Pain


Yeah, I am one of those people that HATES my birthday. For me its not about getting older. Admittedly sometimes i stop and think "Wow..I'm not a kid anymore..i'm getting OLD!" ... but those thoughts come randomly and my birthday doesn't inspire them.

The following is a Top Ten list of why i hate my birthday:

10: The build up. It occurs to me about 1 month before the big day that its coming. First i get excited and then my inner voice says, "No Jo...don't get excited. If you get excited you will be let down." Then the month of dread begins.

9: Friends who know i hate my birthday and therefore go awkwardly over-the-top trying to create the perfect day.

8: Any day of the year you can ask my father when my birthday is and he will dictate it back like it has been burned into his memory. HOWEVER, he has never remembered on my actual birthday.

7: I am the middle child. That statement should be able to stand alone, but i will elaborate for those who are not middle children. My older brother and younger brother get treated like KINGS on their birthdays. Fancy expensive restaurants, expensive presents, cake...the works. This year for my birthday my mother bought me an ice cream sundae. Seriously.

6: I'm always reminded of my 16th birthday. I so desperately wanted a fabulous sweet 16. But i had no friends because i wasn't cool. SO my mother bought me an air conditioner. I spent that entire summer hanging out in my room alone. But ya know what? I was cool.

5: It always rains on my birthday. Every year. Without fail.

4: My mom's idea of a birthday present is paying my cell phone bill for me.

3: Restaurants that sing humiliating "Happy Birthday" songs. Need i say more?

2: It can never be just the one day. Birthdays have an annoying tendency to be drawn out into birthweeks. I hate this practice, i don't condone it, yet i get suckered in every year.

1: I hate who i am on my birthday. I don't WANT to care. I tell myself ALL year that i'm not going to care. But then the day comes and i expect perfection while dreading catastrophe. Nothing anyone does is ever good enough for me and yet at the same time i want everyone to forget the day completely. I can not be pleased. Just looking at this list i see an ungrateful wretch and that just isn't who i am.

The truth is, i've had a few really nice birthdays. Some were the best days I have ever lived. For some reason i never let myself remember that when the dreaded day is closing in.

I guess a birthday shouldn't really be about presents and cake. It should be a celebration of your life. A day to reflect on what you have discovered that year. A time to remember your purpose in this world.

The Grinch's heart grew 2 sizes that day... :)